Internal Validation - How to begin

Free yourself of the constant need for approval from other people

I was just in the kitchen, making a super delicious breakfast for my girlfriend and myself when it suddenly hit me : internal validation is freaking awesome!!


If you are just a regular guy or girl who has never put much thought into it then chances are very high that you are to some degree (some more, some less) dependant on the validation that you receive from other people. There are many articles for example in psychology or on dating sites that write about this exact topic. But what I've always missed was clear to follow instructions how to switch from being externally validated to being mostly internally validated. You can start with small steps...


Back to my kitchen story. As I was making breakfast my mind wandered towards the excitement I could relish in when my girl recognizes how awesome our breakfast is gonna be. How she will thank me for the work I put into it and how happy I will be then. Suddenly...BAM!...it hit me! Why on earth would I be more happy just because I would get recognition for my work??


I already knew that the food was awesome, what I did was cool and fulfilling so why would I need another person to tell me? Your own opinion of yourself should be what matters most to you. If you know you are doing great then please, by all means tell yourself! Over and over again if you have to! There is no law that is preventing you from actually acknowledging the value of yourself or your work in this world.If you keep waiting for others to approve of you or to appreciate all the small things you find awesome about yourself you're gonna have a really bad time...


So the first step is : appreciate yourself fully and often, every time you think you should be appreciated for something! No matter what it his, no matter how small - if you think you did well, then celebrate yourself for it.


You deserve the fullest support from yourself. You will notice how often you wait for the approval of others in even the smallest of things that you do or say and how independant you can be if you take care of the approval part yourself. Just try it out and be amazed how good it feels!


Cheers!


Marc